Year in Review 2015

Wow. Another year in the books. I cannot believe how fast this year has flown by. I ended last year with an exciting new job starting in 2015. I also had some goals that I wanted to work toward. Little did I know that my job would be pretty consuming (in a good way), so many of my goals went to the wayside. The goals are, however, not forgotten, just on hold.

The year did start off on the rough side. I almost lost my current job because of a license technicality. My employer and I had all assumed that my transfer from Minnesota to Wisconsin would have been seamless. I hold the highest degree available in the field and had passed the national exam back in March 2014. We had both called and received the same answer that I would be just fine. Well, long story short - it wasn't and my future was seriously in question. Those few months were quite the test on my sobriety. I did make it through. I could tell, though, that it had some effect on my attitude about being in the field for several months after that. I really started to question if I had done the right thing by going into the field. I was shaken and feeling weak. I wondered if one situation could shake my confidence in my ability to stay sober, then should I really be teaching others about how to get onto the road of recovery? It took awhile, but I got back into the game. 

In April, I took on a new job role as a substance abuse counselor in the local county jail. I was terrified. I was concerned about how to be firm yet empathetic. I wasn't sure if I had a clue how to counsel folks that were incarcerated. It took about 30 days. I fell in love with that part of my job. The women that I counsel in that setting are in a very unique point in their lives. Many have had treatment in the past and several have been in and out of jail for years. There is such an honesty and rawness about this environment. Most everything they are feeling come out in our sessions. There is so much honesty in what I hear. It is an amazing opportunity to dig deep and look at addiction. When I thought about going into this field, the experience I had in the jail is what I had been hoping to find. You can often find me telling people how much I "love going to jail". I was moved into this role because of my licensing issues and it was absolutely the best thing that happened for me.

As the year rolled on, I was invited to come back to the University of Minnesota as part of the on-call organ donation team. It is part of the job that I used to do when I worked full time. The last time I had been on call was 2012. It was one of my favorite parts of my job. I get to call people and tell them that an organ is available. I get all the adrenaline rush of coordinating things. I was a bit apprehensive to start because it had been awhile and the call shifts are 24 hours for 2-3 days. Initially, I had agreed to do one weekend over the 4th of July. I felt like I was back in my element. I was back doing something I felt really confident at. It was a bit of a change from working full time in substance abuse counseling where I feel like, most days, I have no clue what I am doing. One weekend turned into several months of call. I picked up way more than I should have. Part of it was money, the other part was feeling very confident in what I was doing.

I let myself get out of balance. For a few months, I was working two high burn out positions and it was starting to take its toll. I was tired and getting sort of crabby. I had people from just about every facet of my life telling me to take it easy and quit working so much. I finally listened. I am down to 1 weekend per month, with nothing scheduled in January and 1 weekend in February. I am still grateful to have the opportunity to work in that area. I love transplant. A LOT. I know that I could not do that work full time anymore. I think just being able to dip my toes in every so often will keep me happy.

I also got the opportunity this year to do several different trainings. I got a week's training in substance abuse prevention which was so fascinating. I have a lot of learn in the area of prevention and home that things will settle down a little bit in my job to spend some more quality time in that area. Also, I was asked to join the drug court team which has been amazingly interesting. I believe very much in drug courts. By being a part of this team, I was offered the opportunity to get another week of training in MRT (Moral Reconation Therapy) which deals with criminal thinking. While there are several parallels between addictive thinking and criminal thinking, there are some pretty interesting differences which when brought together can yield some pretty dramatic outcomes, unfortunately mostly negative. With that training, it has enhanced my experience in the jail. 

As the year ends, overall, I am pretty satisfied with how the year went. There were definitely some ups and downs. I struggled some with depressive symptoms. I managed to get on top of that pretty quickly so the issues were short lived. The holidays have become my favorite time of year. This year was certainly not a disappointment! I enjoy the time with my family and have this opportunity each year to be reminded of how grateful and lucky I am.

While I am currently battling a nasty cold, I am feeling pretty darn good about closing this past year and moving forward into this new year. My goal that has been on hold was looking into writing a book. I am still very interested in pursuing this goal. In fact, I did start and finished about 30 pages. Who knows? Maybe I will be able to pick this back up in the next year. 

I wish all my readers a happy and healthy new year ahead! Remember to take a minute of each day and list at least 5 things you are grateful for. It's amazing how that can bring the mind to a positive and happy place in just a few seconds. 

Peace,

J

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