I haven't been as active this year with writing as I would have liked. I feel as I get older, time moves so incredibly fast and writing seems to fall by the wayside. I have lots of ideas and things to write about. I am hopeful that I will get back into more regular posting in 2023.
The year 2022 - wow - a rollercoaster for sure. The year started off on a very positive note with FINALLY getting my RN. I passed by boards a few days before my birthday. I talked myself out of getting this degree so many times. I am glad I took the plunge and got it done. The pay raise was certainly nice! I started giving some thought to what my next career steps were. I had started working in homecare in early 2021 because the schedule was flexible and gave me some time to get back up on nursing skills at the bedside I hadn't done for about 10 years. I looked at several listings everyday and listened to my classmates who were getting jobs at hospitals or traveling agencies. I heard how much they were getting paid and thought about it for a minute. But only a minute. If there is something that I have learned in my years of working is that EVERY time I have chased money, I end up miserable. The nature of nursing right now is sign on bonuses that required a period of time to stay or else the money has to be paid back. So, if I prioritized the money and went for it, I would need to stay and who knows what would happen if I didn't like it. I didn't do the RN thing to work in the hospital. I have never had any interest. I prefer community-based. Transplant was still on the docket. I had stepped aside last summer. I miss it. The job was incredibly unique and I should probably write a book with all stories and experiences over the years. I was asked if I wanted to stay on the team. As much as I wanted to say "yes", I needed to think about where I wanted my career to go. Transplant is stressful with long hours and any level of chaos per shift. While I thrive sometimes in that, I am also getting older and staying up for 24+ and doing that level of intense work was no longer viable for me. Fortunately, my transplant people put me in contact with another department that was of interest: Education. I started in the education department in May. It was a great transition and I really have a lot of fun with the team and doing training for new hires. It feels natural and like a good spot for me. I was so fortunate to be welcomed with open arms and a flexible schedule so I could keep a causal position. I had been offered a full-time position a few times. Again, I was interested and the money was better than what I make, but I like my current full time job and I like working nights. So, I remained in homecare and shifted my hours over to one client. The experience is beyond what I could have dreamed of. the environment is fun, the client is great, I get to play and goof around with her and get to provide 1:1 nursing so I don't fight to get everything done. I really had no intention of staying after I graduated. I never found anything that offered what I get out of my work experience right now. I complain very little. Would I like more pay? Sure, but it pays the bills, my stress is low, and I have a good time. And I work nights which is by far my preferred schedule. I am more than grateful that my job has been as stable as it has been. 2022 heralded some losses that still raw and painful. One of my best friends, Kim G. left this earth suddenly in July. I cried for weeks and wondered if people ever died from a broken heart. I still tear up thinking about her and wondering why she is gone. Grief is complex and confusing. I just miss her so much. There are times when I am scrolling through my contacts and see her name. I think about all the hours we talked and what I wouldn't give for just one more chat. Then, my baby Duke. Duke was 15 years old and was my co-pilot in life for years. He was a snuggle monster. He had been declining for a while. He had the same condition as his sister. Neither Daisy nor Duke responded to medication management of their condition. I was left to watch them whither away for a year or more. Duke suffered a massive stroke. I had never seen him like he was. He had huge tears in his eyes so I knew that I had to be strong, be his mom, and let him go. I held him as he drifted away. That was the third cat I had to put down since mid-2020. My fragile heart felt like it exploded again. Fortunately, the year has shown me support from my family and friends. As much as I feel heart broken, more than a few people reached out with support and love. My family is amazing and this year brought us new adventures and memories to remind myself that 2022 wasn't all pain. I have amazing friends who reached out and reminded me that I am never alone. They gave me space (but not too much space) when I was struggling, encouraged me to get out when I didn't want to, and checked in to make sure I wasn't hiding from the world. Like I said, time is moving so fast, I would hate to look back and think I missed a ton of it. Part of mending this broken heart is finding a way to move forward with life as it is now. I am still in the process of accepting that life is the way it is now. I just don't want it to be that way and I find it unfair. No one ever told me that life was fair. A work in progress...... For the first time in 10 years, I have plans for New Years! TO and I go way back and have had some pretty similar experiences over the years. When we get together, we talk for hours and hours. We may have to set an alarm to remind us to celebrate the New Year. Otherwise we might just talk right through it (hahhahaha!) Peace and love to you all! Julie
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AuthorJust a girl in the world trying to live a sober and happy life. Archives
September 2024
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