A Year in Review

I think Facebook's video put it nicely this year -- another trip around the sun. Geez, 2016 flew by so quickly. As I opened up my blog to write my final entry of the year, I am almost hard pressed to remember everything that happened. It feels like a big blur!

I realized on the way home today that I did achieve one of my more major goals for the year. When I got my review last year, my supervisor's boss had made a comment that he was excited for me to get some more confidence and see what I was really capable of. Of all the nice things in that review, that really stuck with me the most. He really encouraged me to get rid of my fears and go. I started speaking up more and seeking more feedback. I took some risks. I found new things that worked, new things that didn't. On my last work day this year, I made probably 20 phone calls, triaged 3 calls and met with 6 clients, 2 of which were new. It was just another day and a rather good one on at that. I feel like I have a style/approach. I feel more confident in having the hard conversations and saying what needs to be said in a manner that keeps us moving forward. Compared to how I was feeling leading up to my review last year, I am pretty darn excited.

This year was also another reinforcement that recovery is an ongoing journey. Also, that recovery is a connection between the head and heart. My head knows all sorts of things. My heart, like most people's, can wonder and get lost in the weeds. There are a lot of things I "know" about recovery. There are a lot of things I do in recovery. There are also a few things that I know but I don't always do. My ongoing area of attention these days is to separate my work from my personal recovery. I know I need to do that. However, when work is going well, I feel like my recovery is being fed and all is well. On the flip side, when work is getting tough, suddenly my recovery starts getting tough too. These two should be independent of each other. I KNOW that!!! AHAHAAAHAHA!

I got a decent reality check late this year about letting myself wander too far from my personal recovery. I have some goals for 2017 that will be focused on getting me back connected with my personal recovery. I resigned from both of my volunteer activities this year that I had been doing for 5+years. I am seeking something new, something that connects me to my recovery. I applied for a board position at a local non-profit. No idea if I will get it, but I thought it was worth a shot. I am also going to seek out a new home group in my area. Lastly, I need to get a new sponsor. I loved my old sponsor. She was a nurse and she carried me through my monitoring program. She worked a good program. We met a few times after I completed. I invited her to my annual medallion ceremonies and I never heard back. We lost touch. I just never got a new one. So, this one will be a priority.

At the beginning of this past year, another area of my life that got completely off balance was my weight. Food has really become my subsitute over the years. Again, I "know" that using something else instead of alcohol is a dangerous place to be. I attempted to participate in a weight loss challenge and did horrible. I went to my annual physical and got weighed. I broke down and cried about where I was at. In July, I started at a weight loss clinic. Nothing trendy, nothing fancy -- education about food, education about exercise, education about stress management and some accountability. I am down 28 pounds so far. I am thrilled with the progress. I am finding foods I like that I can fit into a better lifestyle. I am working to get more exercise in. I am doing it the right way this time. No fad diets. No rapid weight loss. I am eating all real foods.

In the later part of this year, I also realized that I have been negelcting my personal life. I am a pretty busy person but if you look at my calendar, work has a lot of that time. I have the control over the hours of my second job. I pick up more hours that I should for a couple of reasons. One, I like the money. Two, I like to help out. Three, I am bad at saying no. Four, it's really fun to do transplant every so often. I am actually taking call for New Year's this year. I have to be careful though. I get really worn out, very quickly. It's high pressure, high intensity and a lot of hours in a short period of time. It feeds the rockstar a little I wrote about in my previous blog. The goal this year will be to find something that feeds the rockstar that is a little different than working for 48 hours straight. I am not sure what that is going to look like yet, but I will keep you posted.

So, this year has been an explosion of growth both professionally and personally. All in all, it's been a decent year with a few bumps here and there. I am going into 2017 with some tougher goals. I know the rewards will be excellent. In 2014 and 2015, I worked on my spirituality and the payoffs were so much more than I ever could have imagined. I am intrigued by the rewards of a balanced life.  Also, the time has come to get back connected with my recovery community again. I have been disconnected and I can feel it. 

I want to thank everyone who has stopped by to read this blog in 2016!! I wish everyone all the very best in 2017!!

​J