Recovery & Social Media

When I started my addiction studies degree, I was interested in social media's role in recovery. It's been six years since graduation, and my opinions are no more solidified. The pandemic really brought this topic as people seek out recovery support online to substitute for in-person meetings. A few clubs arranged to get a waiver from the state here in MN, which allows for limited in-person meetings. These Alano clubs were/are considered essential in these cases. 

What that initial research project concluded is that within the recovery community, online meetings were not all that popular. Most of the people who I interviewed felt that people could potentially hide behind a screen instead of being present and around their peers. Others thought it was "too easy" to roll over in bed and join an online meeting. "Are we really willing to go to any lengths for recovery if we can't even get out of bed to make it to a meeting?" Others felt like I did and still do to a certain extent. Getting the courage to walk in those doors is one of the hardest parts of recovery. Can I an online meeting offer some introduction so people can dip their toes to see if AA is the right fit for them? Online meetings are offer something for areas with limited meetings. I would think it would be hard to live in a town of 10,000 people with 2 meetings a week. Also, small towns can mean knowing a lot of people. The anonymous part of AA kinda flies out the window when you know everyone in town. 

I have been highly interested in documentaries that talk about social media and the effect that it has had on our culture and politics. While the original mission was to connect us, I think most of us can agree that social media has, in some cases, brought out the very worst in us. I scroll through comment sections on articles and find myself getting sad about the aggression people display. To some degree, most people have become more radicalized in their perspective as social media uses artificial intelligence to watch our behavior and give us content that fits this view and areas of interest. Our realities have become skewed whether we would like to admit it or not. 

So, how does recovery fit into all of this? The saddest thing I have noticed about the online social media-based recovery groups is twofold. First, people will join groups just to argue about the type of recovery they choose. "AA is a cult." "Addiction is not a disease; just suck it up." "You will stop being depressed once you choose Jesus." "Medication is just a government conspiracy to control your mind." The last one is my favorite. A woman was reaching out for suggestions about managing her depression after getting sober. These were the responses that I remember that offered anything but support. 

Secondly, the trolls. When meetings started moving online, Zoom meetings were hacked, and people were doxing the sites with triggering speech. I clearly remember a person logging on to a meeting who, during the introductions, stated, "I own a bar down the street. You get a free drink when you give me your chip." He stayed on for 20 minutes with similar messages. While some people might think this is funny, it's hurtful for people who are trying to improve the quality of their lives. If you hate AA, don't go. If you hate SMART recovery, don't go. If you think therapy is for babies, don't go. If you think medications are for the weak, don't take them. Because recovery takes so many different shapes and forms, I rarely judge (I try not to anyway) how other people get to where they want to go. 

Our recovery community has become polarized as well. I think to a degree, it always has been. There are a great number of people who have to succeed with AA/NA and believe this program is the only way to get sober. If you don't choose AA/NA, you will not get sober. End of conversation. There are others who are huge supporters of medication-assisted recovery. They often fight a battle regarding stigma more than any other program. The opinions are explicit, and I have seen those attempting to get into NA who are taking Suboxone be shunned for not really being sober. There are others who want and need something more than just AA. Like me, I use AA for some of my recovery. I use mental health work as part of my recovery. DBT has been the most successful intervention, along with medications for my recovery. DBT helps me regulate myself, medications help me keep my depression symptoms at bay, and AA reminds me to own my stuff and do better. 

So, I think social media gave all of these opinions a new platform, much like politics. I didn't know that people actively requested people to leave AA/NA if they were taking medications. I didn't know this because I don't attend NA. The topic hasn't really come up that I can think of in the meetings that I attend. Naloxone is often used to help people with cravings. People don't seem to be up in arms as much about that as they are about methadone or Suboxone treatments.  I have experienced the "AA is the only way" crowd. I don't engage in the other components of my recovery. I know what works for me. I am thrilled that AA worked so well for them. I don't feel like it is my place to convince them that other things can work and AA is not for everyone.

Over the years, I have had people comment on my blog since I do talk about AA. The comments are harsh and accuse me of perpetuating a destructive cult. I have been accused of being brainwashed. When I talk about taking medications for depression and anxiety, the comments even go further south. I am, apparently, a victim of big Pharma. I am also not sober. Antidepressants are mood-altering drugs, and I shouldn't be telling people that I am sober. Also, mental health does not really exist. I am whining. Just step up, get out of bed, accept Jesus, and move on already. I have chosen to delete them. So, I alter the reality of this blog and post the positive things only. That is my choice but also speaks to a part of the problem.

One thing I struggle with while working in the field was that advocacy piece. When do I engage and try to educate? When do I just walk away because there is no point? I had an easier time advocating for mental health than I did for chemical health. I got stuck in the corner with "you won't understand unless you have been there." I limited myself to thinking that no one else can understand, which is not valid. I think what comes up is the first time I walked into treatment and bawled for 20 minutes. I was so relieved that I wasn't alone, the cat was out of the bag, and maybe I had a shot at doing something different. I felt like I wasn't being judged in that moment. Judgment was one of my worse fears. People would think less of me. People would feel sorry for me. People wouldn't respect me. None of that ended up being true. However, that is precisely what I see when I look at my online recovery groups, with the exception of a rare few, who have serious rules to participation.

There is no black and white answer to this one. I think there can be a place and a time for recovery online. I also worry about the state of the world and being inundated with so much negativity. Those things can chip away at recovery. Personally, I don't feel the same connection with online meetings as I do in person. I have heard others say it's been great because it takes the stress off of getting to appointments and meetings. It's much easier to shut the door for an hour instead of finding a sitter for the kids, finding money for gas, and commuting. I can absolutely appreciate that. 

In all honesty, I have stepped away from a lot of my social media-based recovery groups. There is a private group I belong to that I like. I also have one that people post their recovery anniversaries. Not a whole lot of controversy there. However, the last time I posted at my ten years, someone posted, "Nice start, I guess." That didn't sit with me well. I found myself wanting to aggressively respond. I know, though, that that response says more about me than him. His response is about him and not me. So I guess there are lessons of the real-world on social media as well. People are generally very passionate about their recovery, and I enjoy that energy. It can be hard at times when people are judging others and disguising it as passion.  Who knows? Maybe they are no aware of how their passion for one recovery method comes off to those of us who believe that people have more than one option to get to sobriety. 

So, the new year is going as well as expected. I did reduce my school credit load, and it feels much more manageable. Work continues to go well, and having a reduced schedule will allow me to work a touch more than I was. The fewer loans, the better! :)

'Til next time!
​Julie