Recovery & Anonymity

Wrestler Chyna Doll (Joan Laurer) passed away a month ago from a drug overdose. I remember watching her on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I felt a weird connection with her even though we had very little in common. If my recollection serves me right, she was on Celebrity Rehab somewhere around 2008. The interview I remember (which is not much because I was in my own alcohol induced stupor at this point in my life) was her trying to decide whether or not she was an addict. While in treatment, she was coming closer to making that admission. I remember thinking it was so weird that she didn't think she was an addict. That was something I never really struggled with in terms of my addiction. I knew I was addicted, many, many years before I was willing to do anything about it. I was taken by her because she was so tough and broken into a male dominated arena. Yet here she was addicted, just like me. 

​Anyway, another high profile death due to addiction is here. My instincts tell me that prescription drugs will ultimately be shown to have a contributing factor in Prince's death as well. Meanwhile in the "normal", non-famous world, 200,000 people per year are dying because of illicit drug use, 85,000 a year from alcohol related deaths and 20,000 from prescription drug abuse and/or dependence (National Institute on Drug Abuse). Holy crap, right? Substance Abuse is going to be taking over the #1 area of health concern by 2020, topping diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular issues. Opiates are taking 100 lives a day.Yet, I feel like our voice is silent.

I understand, firsthand, why anonymity is so crucial in recovery. My shame about being addicted was so strong. I did not want anyone to know anything about my issues. When I returned to work after my first stint in rehab, I just told people I had an unspecified health issue. It wasn't until months after I came back that I was willing to talk about it with anyone other than my boss who knew and supported me through my issues. 

After a while, though, I felt that me not talking about what I was going through in terms of recovery was starting to feel just as bad as me lying about the problem I had in the first place. I started sharing what had happened and I felt a great deal of pressure be lifted from me. I didn't want to be anonymous anymore. I don't care if people know that I am addict. In fact, I wanted them to know. I also want them to know that I am in recovery and ask the questions about addiction so they might be able to get some answers too.

There are pros and cons to staying anonymous and to getting out there and being a voice for recovery. No doubt, people still judge addicts. We are still having the discussions out there about whether or not addiction is a disease or just a lack of willpower. I understand both sides of the argument very well and can really support either side. However, anonymity is causing one major problem in my opinion. We aren't organized. We aren't advocating for ourselves and we aren't doing much to reduce the stigma against us. I believe the recovery community has 1000 good reasons for staying out of the limelight. Part of it comes from AA and the traditions which indicate that AA does not get involved in anything - political or otherwise. Part of it comes from the safety of not being judged in a neutral environment. I guess this begs the question, can a person participate in advocacy and remain anonymous?

Addiction is killing people. Plain and simple. 23 million Americans are in recovery and took many different ways to get there. Yet, we are still talking in code on the street and unwilling to come forward to have our voices be heard. For those of us that took the journey to get sober, we know the difficulties with getting insurance to pay for treatment. We know what it is like to show up in the emergency room and be turned away. We know what it is like to be given a pill from a doctor who clearly doesn't understand addiction and be sent home. The most effect place to institute change is at a policy level. Paul Wellstone did that for us when he demanded that insurance companies pay for mental health and substance abuse services like all other medical conditions. This is still not happening but we have no collective voice to share these issues to promote change. 

I want to reiterate that I understand the desire for anonymity. However, if we are ever going to change the stigma that we face, it's time to come out of shadows and be proud of what we have accomplished. It's time to show that what people might believe addiction to be is not necessarily correct. We need to organize and have our voices heard. There are more treatments available than ever and also a better scientific understanding about addiction. Addiction doesn't have to be a death sentence anymore. I believe our silence is costing us dearly.