Part of the Stigma Problem?

Part of the Stigma Problem?
"We in recovery have been part of the problem. We have both accepted and perpetuated the stigma that kept us from getting help and that has killed millions of addiction disease victims.

"By hiding our recovery, we have sustained the most harmful myth about addiction disease; that it is hopeless. And without the examples of recovering people, it's easy for the public to continue thinking that victims of addiction disease are moral degenerates - that those who recover are the morally enlightened exception.

"We are the lucky ones - the ones who got well. And it is our responsibility to change the terms of the debate, for the sake of those who still suffer." ...Senator Harold Hughes

I was sitting in my theory week a couple of weeks ago. In talking about the history of addiction treatment in the U.S., Senator Harold Hughes was, himself, in recovery and really took a bold approach to sending a new message about addicts. 

In the midst of my addiction, I would be up late at night watching infomercials. There were a couple that came up that promised instant addiction cures. Let me tell you, it's a good thing I went to bed because I was more than tempted to buy whatever they had to offer. I was desperate. Oddly, I was more desperate to keep everything a secret. Mainly, I felt terrible shame that I was some moral failure. "People like me should be drinking like this?" I felt like I hadn't tried hard enough. I didn't understand anything about addiction. I just judged myself until drinking was the only thing to relieve my anxiety and depression. In keeping my secrets safe, I became sicker and more and more of a victim. I wanted to hide the addiction and the fact that I was in recovery. SHAME SHAME SHAME.

When I finally got to treatment, I felt like I needed to do something in my soul about the stigma of alcoholism and addiction. I remember putting so much pressure on myself about sharing my message of what had happened to me. What I focused on is what I was going to tell my co-workers after such a long absence from work. I told my counselor "I don't want to tell them all everything. I don't feel like I need to be some beacon of addiction education." The main reason I felt this way is because a few of my co-workers are extremely judgmental. I just didn't think I could handle what other people thought of me. That whole "you are loser" started slipping right in. I wrote another blog entry about how I ultimately got past that one.

As my recovery continued, I really did want to share my story. I have two of the highest stigmatized  issues these days - Mental Health Issues & Addiction. Please note, I don't use the "I suffer from" in this discussion. "I suffer" means that I am victim. I have enough issues going on in my life, I don't need to be feeling sorry for myself or lamenting about something I can't change. I got it and I am dealing with it the best that I can. When I first started posting this blog, I did lose some "acquaintances" over it. I would say about 99% reacted more positively than I could ever image. People have asked some really intense questions, have shared their own personal stories of struggles and success and mostly, I think people are just seeing what it's like in the day of a recovering alcoholic with depression issues, aka, me.

Now, my doing all of this, I am in complete violation of AA anonymity promise. Senator Hughes' comment above is what got me thinking about this blog entry. Getting a new message out there seems to be what a majority of my life is about now. I feel a passion to educate and make people aware of a very silent disease that costs society billions every year and destroys the individual and everyone around them. I don't want people to have to suffer as long as I did before getting help. I would love to educate the family and friends of those in addiction. This education is not to provide excuses, but to arm everyone, the addict included with everything to lead a better life. A sober life. 

Of course, I am quite realistic that I won't be able to change the world. But I want to! I hope that the education I am receiving right now along with my personal experience will give me what I need to be able to educate others about what addiction really is all about. I think one of the first place I would like to start is in the healthcare. I am really astounded to hear all the stereotypical bashing of addicts and alcoholics. The whole tone of the conversation changes when they see "alcohol dependence" even if the person has not taken in a drink in years. 

Anyway, I am glad that I have some passion these days because I need all the energy I can have to get through all this work and school!! 

Peace out!
XOXOX