​Holiday Season

I think I end writing just about the same thing every year when it comes to holiday season. Years ago, I hated the holidays. I found the holidays so stressful with trying to manage different gatherings. I was so addicted to alcohol that if alcohol wasn’t available at a gathering, I would start going through withdrawal. At the time, I didn’t know that’s what was happening. I just thought I had severe social anxiety. Nope. Turns out I love social situations and generally have little anxiety about them. I just needed alcohol.

My first Thanksgiving after getting sober happened in 2010. I had been sober for about 90 days. I was still in treatment and had made a big deal out of the holidays and not in a particularly positive way. Thanksgiving rolled around that year and I was exposed to what is now my normal. It was a time to be with family, eat too much and just relax. I could hardly deal with the non-dysfunction of the holiday. What is this? Where is all the stress? Hmmmm….maybe this is something that I could get used to. My family was always kind enough to reschedule holidays for me too when I had to work.

This year will be my 10th sober holiday season! Whoo hoo! There are so many things to be grateful and thankful for in my life now. There are so many things to celebrate. When I think about the past 10 holidays seasons, I think of all the wonderful memories I have of my niece and nephew. I think of all the time I am able to be with my family. Our lives are so busy that for November and December, I get to see them almost weekly with all the holiday shows and gatherings. Works for me! I think of the tap on the head I get at 4:00am on Christmas morning from my niece…..”Aunt Julie…..Santa was here!” The quality of my holidays has just about everything to do with my sobriety. My family is awesome, don’t get me wrong. My sobriety, however, has given me the opportunity to be present. I don’t have to worry about the next drink. I just worry about who gets to play what game with Aunt Julie first. I only have to worry about making coffee for the adults since I am usually the one the kids go to first on Christmas morning.

I try to keep a gratitude list in my head at all times: 10 things I am grateful for at any given moment. As I roll into my 10th holiday season with sobriety on board, here you go!

1. Always in the number #1 slot: My family – they make my holidays amazing
2. I am grateful I had the opportunity to get sober and the support I got to be here today
3. Friends – all friends – AA friends, life-long friends, new friends, work friend distant friends, childhood friends – happy to have so many in my life
4. Daisy & Duke – the kittens, of course – these guys have been with me for 13 years
5. My home – it remains a work in progress but I love it here
6. My readers – thanks all for taking the time to read, it means a lot to me!!
7. My experiences – good, bad or otherwise, each experience served a purpose
8. I would be remiss not to put a shout out to my therapist (he doesn’t read this but I will give him a holiday card) – he has helped me get through a lot in the past year and allow myself the opportunity to heal
9. I am grateful to those who stood by me when I was not very lovable or agreeable. One of my greatest motivations for sobriety today is to live the life that each of you wanted for me: sober and happy.
10. Teaching Opportunities: I love the opportunities that have popped up in the past few years with teaching with the medical assistant program, going up to Anoka Technical College to talk with students, doing continuing education classes…..Speaking is one of my greatest passions.

I wish you, all my readers, peace and happiness as we enter this holiday season.
Happy Holidays!
Julie